"For the Love of Ray Jay" (Season 2, episode 1:VH1)

Lucky Bastard
Younger brother of famous R&B singer Brandy (Moesha) is known for two reasons: his lackluster, whiny R&B career and his notorious domination of Kim Kardasian in the doggy style position during their Internet award winning sex tape. It made him the envy of all males between the ages of twelve and deceased. In fall of 2008 he quickly reproduced iconaltry within that same demographic by starring in season one of the VH1 Reality series: "For the Love of Ray-J". Fourteen beautiful women lived in his house and competed for his love over the course of four weeks. At the end of the show, "Cocktail" was crowned queen and the couple rode off happily ever after into the sunset.
Season two hits the reset button and loads up for a double take at love. Ray-J takes a mulligan with the rationale that "she was the best girl in the house, but she wasn't the best girl for me." Once again, fans are given the opportunity to watch the R&B star experience the life every man dreams of. This season, Ray J has invited 20 beautiful women to compete for his affection. The episode begins with the women arriving at the mansion and fighting over beds. The cattiness has already begun: "At least you don't look 30." says 21 year old "extra" condescendingly to 31 year old mother of two "miss Berry".
Ray J arrives at dinner to give all 20 girls nicknames based on ostensible qualia. A top ten ranking based on camera time: Luscious from the Philippines, Pairadees from Hawaii, Caliente from Argentina, Platinum, Adorable, Trouble, Extra, Flossy, Tipsy, and Lava in that order. These girls are scaldingly hot! It is imperative that males watch this show with an oven mitt and one hand Al Bundee style down the pants. The ladies are much more classy than Flavor Flav's and way more flossy than Antonio Sabato Jr's were.
After dinner, Ray J has one on one time with each girl for about two minutes. Caliente is from Argentina and has poor English. She is able to mention her employment with playboy via body painting. Her charismatic broken English, jubilant laughter, and dazzling smile was more than enough to build chemistry with Ray J. Contestant "Extra" gives Ray-J an incredible introductory lap dance complete with the splits in a mini-skirt. "Miss Berry" creates dialogue around her teen aged sons. "Luscious" tells him she has been celibate for eight months which ironically causes him and the other contestants to treat her as if branded with a scarlet letter. Charming kitten "tipsy" makes an unfortunate fool of herself Jacuzzi side during her time with the recording artist.
The show winds down with eliminations. Sadly, "tipsy" is eliminated because of her drinking. A premature exit for what could have been a fan favorite character. "Fettuccine" is dubbed a "celebrity smasher" by Ray-J for advertising a pre-existing relationship with celebrity Tyson Bedford. She is eliminated and sent stampeding home slobbering and crying. "Diego" is sent home for asking Ray-J music industry questions and inquiring about his musical interests. "Luscious" is picked last which gives the audience quite a fright. She is an incredible playboy model in real life and the celibacy spiel makes her a front runner to win the competition. The fact that a vicarious experience of my sexual fantasies are starring this 5'4 Nick Cannon consistently is proof that life isn't fair. However, this is easily one of the most perversely enjoyable shows on television for the cosmopolitan conjugal connoisseur.